I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
