Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
