i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
