yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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