I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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