you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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