All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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