Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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