She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
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We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
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Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?