Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.