I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Four minutes until I can fart!
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?