ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize