too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
