The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
whose ass print is on the piano?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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