i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
be right there i have to get my cape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize