so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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