last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He did a backflip because drugs
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
