Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
