I can text with my tongue
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
