do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
