I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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