I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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