my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
