isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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