I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
