i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
