Taylor Swift is so right about you.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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