my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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