I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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