Old men and throwing up are my life now.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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