Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
