you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
as a side note pls kill me
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
