I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
