i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
