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I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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