After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
either way he was missing a nipple.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
