i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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