guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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