Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
