i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
