Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
