9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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