sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
