I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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