Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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