i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
