Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
