Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
