Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
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