Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
