What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
