i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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