I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
