All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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