I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
