Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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