a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
