Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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