I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
