We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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